Working with Autism and ADHD - Training for Buttery Mentors
Module 1 - Foundations: Understanding anxiety, and the ‘no extinction’ rule
Key ideas:
To know one person with autism (or ADHD) is not to know all Neurodivergent people. Every student is an individual. Some strategies will work for a little while, and then we will need to pivot to a different approach. This is why we need a big bank of strategies for supporting neurodivergent people.
For neurodivergent people, many strategies work across ages. ‘Age appropriate’ is less important than ‘does it create independence?’ For example, someone in a wheelchair will require a ramp no matter their age. This can be the same when it comes to supporting Neurodivergent people. A sensory toy or frequent breaks may work for an adult just as well as it does for a child.
Behaviour serves a purpose and is replaced, not “extinguished.”
Supporting people with Autism is all about reducing their anxiety.
Videos to watch:
Buttery translation (music lesson edition)
In a studio, anxiety can look like:
refusing to enter the room
“I can’t do it” before they’ve tried
silly/disruptive energy (often protective)
perfectionism (won’t play unless it’s “right”)
Our goal: reduce anxiety first so learning can happen.
Try-it-now strategies
1) Reduce choices (real choices only)
Instead of “what do you want to do today?” try:
“Do you want to start with the warm-up game or the song?”
Sue Larkey says that too many choices can be very overwhelming
2) Interrupt less / transition better
Sue models how sudden “STOP!” spikes anxiety. In the studio:
use a consistent phrase + gesture (“Last one, then change”)
show what’s next before stopping the current thing
3) Help them be ready (basic needs + predictability)
Sue highlights how drinks/toilet needs + organisation impact learning and anxiety. In the studio:
quick check-in: “Need a drink / toilet before we start?”
keep your studio set-up consistent and uncluttered
Module 1 questionnaire (fill in)
Student-first reflection
What are 3 signs a student is anxious in a music lesson?
What’s one way you’ll reduce choices next lesson?
What is one behaviour you think a student might be using to meet a need (sensory / escape / communication / control)?
What’s one structure change you could make (instead of trying to “change the student”)?
Module 2 — Understanding Autism + ADHD: Routines, Structure, and Why Change Is Hard
Key ideas (Sue)
Everyone has routines; the question is “what would it take for you to change?” (toilet paper / washing line analogy).
“Order = calm” for many students on the spectrum.
Change can require: structure change, reward/motivation, routines/schedules, visuals, repetition/practice, consistency, and choosing battles.
Buttery translation
Music lessons are FULL of hidden changes:
new song section
new sticking pattern
new chord
different teacher phrasing
volume changes
waiting turns (groups)
So we make the “invisible” visible with structure.
Try-it-now strategies
1) Choose your battles (and be consistent about the ones you keep)
Pick 1–2 priorities for the lesson (not 10). Sue warns inconsistency confuses students.
2) Build a mini-routine inside every lesson
The Buttery already uses structure (warm up → technique → workbook → song). Lean into that predictability.
3) Homework: direct + specific
Sue notes students may not hand work in unless directly asked, and perfectionism can block completion. In Buttery-land:
end-of-lesson: “Show me the 3 things you’ll practice”
put it clearly in MMS notes
Module 2 questionnaire
What are 2 routines you already do in lessons that might be calming for neurodivergent students?
What’s one “change” you’ll pre-warn next time?
What battle will you not fight this week, and why?
Write one example of a direct instruction you’ll use instead of vague language.
Module 3 — The 10 Key Strategies: Structure, Adaptations, and Sensory Supports
Key ideas (Sue)
Strategies are like “trying on coats”: some fit, some don’t, some need tailoring, and strategies can “wear out.”
Independence tools shouldn’t be removed just because they’ve been used “too long” (wheelchair + ramp analogy).
It’s easier to change the structure than change the child.
Structural supports and sensory tools can help: sensory seating options, fidgets, chewy tools, transition objects, timers, visuals.
Buttery translation
In a music studio, “structure and adaptations” can look like:
a consistent lesson flow written on a whiteboard
a visual “finish/next” cue
a timer for “work then break”
a transition object while packing up or swapping instruments
“hands in pockets” + a discreet fidget in pockets (Sue’s example)
Try-it-now strategies (studio-ready)
1) Replace “No” with “Do this”
Sue’s point: “No” can escalate because it doesn’t give direction. Use GPS-style instructions.
Instead of: “Don’t touch that.”
Try: “Hands in pockets” (with a fidget option)
2) Transition objects for transitions
When moving from a preferred activity, offer a brief “bridge” object that’s visually/sensorily satisfying (Sue’s transition object examples).
3) Timers for independence
Use a timer so you are not the “bad guy.”
“3 minutes of this, then we switch.”
Sue uses timers even for her own pacing (and models their usefulness).
4) Buttery engagement rules + structure
Buttery guidance: keep explanations short, move between multiple activities for younger kids, and use props/visuals.
Module 3 questionnaire
List 3 structural changes you could make in your next lesson (visual / seating / timer / order / environment).
What sensory support might help a student stay engaged without shame?
Write 2 “GPS instructions” you’ll use (clear, positive direction).
Which strategy might “wear out,” and what will you do when it does?
Module 4 — Inclusion + Social Skills: The “Missing Link”
Key ideas (Sue)
Sue’s doctorate research found we often do inclusion well in-class, but the missing link can be educating others about autism (students and parents) so inclusion extends beyond the classroom.
Sharing diagnosis requires parent permission, and Sue notes research suggesting kids should begin learning about their diagnosis around age seven in a supportive way.
Sue offers a whole-class “everyone is different” approach (e.g., “my life in a box”) rather than singling out a child.
Emotional learning supports inclusion: helping peers understand meltdowns aren’t “naughty,” and that emotions/anger look different across people (loud vs shut down).
Buttery translation
We often teach 1:1 or small groups — which is a perfect place to build belonging:
normalize difference (“everyone’s brain and body learns differently”)
build “bandmate skills” (turn-taking, encouragement, repair after conflict)
explicitly teach what kindness looks like in a music space
Buttery group lesson baseline rules (and they matter here):
When I’m talking, you’re not talking or playing
Give it all you’ve got
Only kindness is allowed
Try-it-now strategies
1) “Difference is normal” mini-ritual
Open a new-student first lesson with one question:
“What helps you learn best — watching, doing, or hearing it first?”
(aligns with Sue’s learning style framing in early years content)
2) Teach “anger looks different”
Borrow Sue’s reflection prompt: anger can be loud OR quiet/shutdown. Help students name their own patterns and calming tools.
3) Consent + confidentiality
If anything about diagnosis is discussed: it must be family-led/consented. Keep notes professional and private.
Module 4 questionnaire
How will you build belonging for a student who struggles socially?
What are 2 ways you’ll reinforce “only kindness is allowed” without shaming?
Write one sentence you could use to normalise difference in a group lesson.
What’s your plan if another student comments on someone’s differences?
Module 5 — Behaviour Support: Meltdown vs Sensory Meltdown vs Tantrum
Key ideas (Sue)
Sue aims for staff to know the difference between behaviour meltdown, sensory meltdown, and tantrum.
A meltdown is overwhelmed/catastrophic and may involve seeking escape/solitude/reassurance; a tantrum is controlled and goal-directed (a “glint,” checking if you’re watching).
During the peak phase of meltdown: treat it like a seizure — safety, space, reduce audience, reduce demands.
Behaviour plans are “50/50”: proactive strategies + teaching the student calming strategies (and “calm down” doesn’t work without tools).
Watch:
Buttery translation (music studio reality)
Common triggers in music spaces:
sound volume / sensory overload
surprise changes
being watched
perfectionism + fear of mistakes
turn-taking pressure
transitions (packing up, leaving a preferred instrument)
Safety reminders (Buttery environment)
We work in small studios and shared spaces — keep safety consistent:
no running/jumping around studios
students must be supervised (we don’t supervise outside lesson time)
Studio response guide (simple + usable)
If you suspect a sensory overload / meltdown:
Lower stimulation (volume down, fewer words, step back)
Give space + a clear “safe option” (“You can sit by the door / take 2 minutes / headphones if available”)
Reduce social pressure (no audience if possible)
Return to a repetitive/regulating action when ready
If it’s a tantrum (goal-directed):
Stay calm, consistent, minimal attention to the behaviour
Don’t “pay out” the behaviour with the desired item immediately (Sue: tantrum ends quickly if they win — which teaches the tantrum)
Offer a structured pathway: “First X, then Y” (with visuals/timer if needed)
Module 5 questionnaire
Describe (in your words) the difference between meltdown and tantrum.
List 3 studio triggers that could cause sensory overload.
Write your exact “low words” script for a meltdown moment (1–2 sentences).
What does “50/50 behaviour plan” mean in a music lesson?
Bonus Module — Early Years Add-On (Little Rockers / young learners)
(From the Early Years handout you uploaded)
Mat time / group time strategies (Sue handout)
Suggested strategies include:
opportunities to move
know where to go when needing space
come to mat last
pre-warn about questions/activities/answers
give a job (turn on music, turn pages)
Make learning activities quick + fun
The early years slides emphasise making activities quick, rotating, and setting students up to succeed.
Included video link (from your upload)
“Youtube Clip on Tying Shoes” (as shown in the handout slides):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4qzKvKuXVM
Bonus questionnaire
What’s one “job” you can give a young student who struggles to sit/engage?
How will you build movement breaks into a 45-minute lesson?
What’s your plan for “come last” or “sit near exit” without making it a big deal?
Buttery Practice: What we expect in real lessons (policy + tone)
Your role as a Buttery mentor
Be excited about every individual; remain curious about their unique spark.
Create a loving, warm environment and belonging through kindness + patience + genuine connection.
Keep lesson notes clear in MyMusicStaff (MMS) so students can practice and families can track progress.
Lessons should be organised and move briskly between activities (especially for younger students).
Safety basics (relevant for neurodivergent learners)
Keep students supervised at all times; we don’t supervise outside lesson times.
No running/jumping in/around studios.
Keep your studio calm, tidy, and predictable (this is sensory-friendly and Buttery-friendly).
Final checkpoint: Course completion reflection
To complete the training, write short answers for:
Your top 5 strategies you’ll start using immediately (your “best-fitting coats”).
A plan for your next neurodivergent student’s first lesson:
how you’ll reduce anxiety
how you’ll add structure
how you’ll support transitions
One situation where you’ll change the structure instead of trying to change the student.
Your “meltdown vs tantrum” response plan in 6 bullet points.